Ever burn a $50 bill for fun? Likely no.
But that’s what the personal development space can feel like.
You’ve been sold an idea of “perfectionism” and reading more personal development books may be adding to your pain.
You look at your friends and colleagues and wonder “how do THEY have it put together?”
They don’t.
I don’t either.
I can’t think of a single person that doesn’t have daily stresses / perceived daily stresses in the pursuit of wanting to make a change.
The thing about wanting to become better in an area of your life (career, money, health, etc.) is that you are going to bump into an obstacle the moment you start.
That obstacle will present itself in numerous ways.
>> Beliefs around why you aren’t good enough or worthy
>> Beliefs from your upbringing thinking “people like me don’t do things like that”
>> Thoughts of “well things aren’t that bad anyways”
And that intense passion you had to make a change comes to a screaming halt when these obstacles [inevitably] present themselves.
So you read a personal development book, grab an idea or two, begin to implement it, and then…things get HARD.
You realize that in order to change, you are literally required to change and become someone new in the process.
And do NEW things…
And that change can be scary.
Your friends/partner might even look at you and say “what are you doing, things aren’t that bad”…
But they don’t understand the thoughts that you are having every waking second, begging for a change.
You can only mask these problems for so long, before work and family pressures keep you in a cycle for decades.
Don’t confuse reading a book with taking action.
So if you’ve found yourself in this trap, and you want to improve a certain life
situation, keep reading.
How awesome would it feel to be given a blank sheet of paper and asked the question “what do you want”…where there are no wrong answers?
Why not start there with this exercise today?
Write down a list of things you want to BE, DO, or HAVE.
This is a list for you…not for me, or anyone else in your life.
Then narrow that list down to the top 1-2 things in each of the three categories as a starting point.
The key to combating overwhelm is simplicity.
Here’s where things get fun and juicy…
When you have your list, and you’re about to take action towards improving your life, you’re going to have an old belief stop you.
Again, it’ll be a version of “things aren’t that bad, you don’t know what you’re doing, you’ll never be successful, etc”.
This is what I call your Zone of Resistance (ZOR).
It’s designed to help keep you safe. And that’s exactly what it does…
In the moment of a ZOR, you can create a new belief, one that supports you in this moment, calling it your ZOI (Zone of Improvement).
What NEW belief can you insert here to allow you to take the next necessary change?
Example in wanting a new career, old belief: “you are stuck in this industry, tied to your income, you’ll never get out”.
Example of new belief: “I am already successful in this field, why wouldn’t I be successful in a new one?”
Then take the next necessary step in doing the thing.
It’s not going to work if you aren’t serious about making a change.
(I’ve seen this flop hundreds of times when people don’t really want what they say they want, so be honest with yourself).
